Guys, I feel really depressed today. Like, it's sunny out, and usually, I like to go for walks around my neighborhood and whatnot on days like this...but here I am, in my basement, dressed in an old t-shirt and basketball shorts, feeling unmotivated and...sad. I don't feel anxious or anything (yet) but I just don't feel happy or peppy or anything. I kind of just want to sleep. And not in a tired kind of way.
I see all my friends going out and having fun and stuff and I just feel...useless (and kind of left out) and alone. Maybe it's my own damn fault that I don't tell people things, that I keep things quiet. Maybe it's the freaking mask I wear every day to fake people out. But I never feel like I can tell people things. I'm afraid I'll just get shot down and my problems will be undermined by their own problems. (I find this happens quite a lot, actually). I never feel like I have someone to talk to (that isn't my mom). I don't like people thinking I'm selfish...
I feel trapped. Like there's no way for me to escape this funk.
Again, I don't know if this is a bi-product of my being a senior, but...it sucks. I don't like it. But I don't really feel like fighting it right now. Am I allowed some time to wallow in self pity? Or is that too much self-indulgence for you?
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