I think I figured out one of the sources of my anxiety.
It's my psychology class.
It's not the people in the class, and it's not the subject matter...it's just how the class is conducted. I don't like it. It makes me anxious. Probably doesn't help that there aren't any windows in the room, either.
See, it's my teacher's first year teaching the AP level psychology class, but she usually teaches the regular psychology, so it shouldn't really be that different....Yet I find myself struggling in that class all the time. I'm pretty sure that I'll make it it out of that class with barely a C. Fantastic. But, seriously...my teacher never assigns homework, and so when she randomly springs it on us, it's highly unlikely that it'll get done by anyone (not just me). Like today, for example, we had to write a paragraph about cultural influences in social psychology. Eight people of the 27 of us turned it in. Eight. On top of that, though, we also had a psychological disorder project due today, which everybody else was focused on. Which everybody turned in. Look at the logic in that.
I don't like my teacher's style of teaching. She does nothing to help us reinforce what we've learned (if so, it's on a rare occasion). She tells us to read (and, in her defense, we are an AP class, so we honestly should be reading, but it's just never been at the top of my priority list) and expects us to know ALL THE THINGS in the chapter by next class. And then she gets mad at us. And then we just discuss the chapter (well, mostly it's her talking) for the next two hours, and I try my hardest not to go stir crazy. And then there are the people who always do amazing work and the people who took regular psychology last year or earlier this year so they already have a leg up on those of us as far as some of the concepts go. I'm sorry...it's just not working for me.
Maybe it's because I've never felt compelled to care about the class. Don't get my wrong, it's not the subject; I actually find psychology quite interesting, and our text book is really informative (the author is actually really funny and adds his own personal opinions and wisecracks every once in a while just to keep you on your toes). I'm not a bad student. I do well in all of my other AP classes, and have all year. But that's because I care about doing well in them. I don't really care about this class. I don't feel like I have a reason to.
Now, that doesn't mean that I'm totally going to slack off for the rest of the year. We have one more project to do, and I intend to put full effort into and do well on it and, hopefully, bring my grade up to a B before graduation.
Sad thing is, she's a really nice person. Her teaching style's a bit wonky, though.
Whew. That rant felt nice. I haven't ranted in a while. I think I needed to.
Still sick, but the crap is slowly but surely moving out of my head. Currently, it's residing behind my nose, so I sound like I'm sick (that annoying nasally sound).
Days 'til graduation: 15
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